I miss playing the piano. I've been playing since I was about 7 years old and it is one of my favorite things in the world. The feel of the keys, the pumping of the pedals, the soft to loud dynamic of the notes...It's been hard to not play in the last few years. I gladly accepted church callings as ward, choir, Relief Society pianist, not only because it got me out of a harder calling, but it gave me an opportunity to play. Since we've moved from Rexburg, I haven't been able to play at all. And it just sucks. I have a backpack full of music, plus some books scattered around and it makes me sad that I can't use them. I would love to have a piano...even a moderately nice electric one, but it has to have pedals! Now and then I cruise Craigslist to see if there is anyone selling a piano for cheap, or I look on websites and window shop. Whenever Zak talks about getting a nicer guitar, I tell him he has two guitars (although one is electric and still in CT), I don't even have a keyboard, so the next musical instrumental purchase has to be for me. Maybe next Christmas we can figure something out...
So I was at Michael's yesterday getting a few Christmas decorations and I saw a CD that was Christmas music, but just piano. I bought it on impulse and am glad I did. The songs are beautiful and it makes me realize how much I truly love playing the piano. I am a pretty decent player, nothing spectacular, but it brings me joy. I miss it so much that I am crying. How pathetic is that? I think if I could play now and then, I'd be a lot happier. I need some kind of creative release. I have been blessed with a talent and I'm not using it right now and it makes me so sad inside.
Anyways, I just wanted to write that feeling down. And hopefully I'll get a piano soon so I can get back to one of the things I love.
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